KFC Boxmaster

To KFC:

I am an American citizen currently traveling through Bulgaria. To my surprise, I've seen numerous KFCs here. I've also noticed that KFC recently debuted a new sandwich. It's called the "Boxmaster." No joke.

I understand that most Bulgarians do not speak English, and fewer still have familiarity with semi-obscene English slang, but still--isn't there some sort of vetting process that would have caught this name before it was slapped on a sandwich?

Also: I'm a big fan of your chain of restaurants. If you have any spare coupons or stickers hanging around the office, I'll use them when I return to the states!

Thanks,

Christopher W.

Guest Grouser: Second Class Treatment on American Airlines

Another guest Grouser, Taylor M., lets American Airlines have it for cramping her legs (and style) during a flight back in November. Lest you think all complaint letters are tossed in the circular file, check out what AA sent Taylor M.:

"I got a form letter that I burned. And a $100 voucher."

Damn right you did.
___________

Dear Mr. Arpey [President and Chief Executive Officer, AMR Corporation/American Airlines, Inc],

I would just like to inform you of the unsatisfactory service I received on a recent flight from SFO to ORD on 22 Nov (Flight 1608). Since it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the flight was completely full with the exception of a seat in the back row and numerous open seats in First Class. There was a major problem with the seat I was assigned (13A). The magazine pocket on 12A was broken, so the minimal leg room I should have had was cut in half. Instead of having the foot or so of leg room that most passengers have, I had about four inches. As a tall woman, almost 5'11", my legs were scrunched, and it was terribly uncomfortable. A metal bar jutted in to my shins and forcibly pressed my legs backward.

Once all the passengers had boarded, I asked one of the flight attendants if there was another available seat. She informed me that there is one in the last row. When I asked about the ones in First Class, which were in plain view, she said that I could not sit there for security reasons.

Since I wasn't sure what extra security checks or precautions the passengers in First Class went through, I asked for more detail. She said something about their names being in a computer. But since I was booked on this flight, I'm assuming my name is in the computer as well. Her explanation still doesn't make sense to me. Furthermore, I saw one of the passengers in seat 8A or 9A move to First Class at the same time I asked. This too didn't make sense to me. Trust me, I understand that the passengers in First Class pay more and that courtesy upgrades are few and far between, but I believe if there was ever a justifiable time to offer a courtesy upgrade, this would have been opportune. (The man sitting next to me couldn't believe the explanation and the service either, and he was a completely objective third-party opinion.)

I'm writing you because I used to love American Airlines. I would frequently fly between LGA and PBI. I remember getting off the plane raving about the extra inches between the seats and saying how I wouldn't fly on Delta or any other airline in the foreseeable future. Over the past year or so, I have seen an extraordinary decrease in the both the level of the comfort in the aircrafts as well as the service provided on American. I had started to grow somewhat accustomed to this, but this flight was the worst yet. Numerous open seats, which I was forbidden to move to, despite the ridiculous discomfort my seat caused. And the reason was never quite clear since the flight attendant gave me a song and dance for an explanation. This was essentially my return to AA as well; I haven't flown you in sometime since my last experience was also poor. Perhaps now you can provide something to entice me back.

By the way, I am assuming the flight attendant was either D. Burnett or L. Lane – she was a tall and slender African-American woman. I was unable to get her name since she appeared to have been assigned to the rear of the aircraft, and I was near the front. Also, I found it amusing that she described herself as tall in what I'm assuming was an attempt to empathize with my situation, but then offered no further assistance. Hopefully, you now can offer some further assistance.

Thank you,

Taylor M.

Guest Grouser: Starbucks Leaking Mugs

Ed. - Ladies and gentlemen, our very first Grouser guest post, from fellow blogger Tommie-Ann T. I have a few other letters that I'll be posting over the next few weeks. Keep sending them in!

_______

James Donald
President and CEO, Starbucks®
PO Box 3717
Seattle, Washington 98124-3717

Dear Mr. Donald:

I am writing you today with a complaint about your paper coffee cups and Starbucks branded travel mug. Presumably you get so many complaints you have a hard time determining which should and should not be taken seriously. I implore you to take my complaint – nay threat – to discontinue my patronage seriously.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I was once an avid and loyal Dunkin Donuts customer, but alas, the allure of Starbucks reeled me and I have yet to return to Dunkin since I crossed over. I have been frequenting Starbucks on a daily basis for roughly six years and often my habit is a twice-a-day ordeal. I cannot even begin to calculate the amount of my retirement fund that I have flushed into your bottom-line. But, I digress, that is not the matter here – although it probably should be.

My issue is with your paper coffee cups and even more so with your Starbucks branded travel mugs. Can you make an item that actually holds the coffee inside of a cup or is that asking too much? As a general matter I typically brew Starbucks at home in the morning and pour the liquid into a Starbucks travel mug and off I go on my commute to work. I probably do not need to tell you the cost of the Starbuck brand travel mug, but I will – the cost is in excess of $10.00 and I own six of them. A few months back I began to notice that the Starbucks branded travel mugs were allowing the coffee inside to leak over me, thus spilling coffee on myself, on my nicely dry-cleaned clothing and frankly, making me look messy and unkempt for work. I am sure you know your clientele is no longer alternative-types blasting Nirvana. And while I am bred and born on Nirvana actually- I now have a big kid job – one which requires me to not have coffee spilled all over me when I enter the building.

Allow me to explain how I got to the point of using Starbucks branded travel mugs in lieu of picking up a coffee at my local Starbucks every morning. You see, my routine used to include picking a coffee up at Starbucks until the coffee began to literally explode all over me. It seems that the coffee is so hot it actually causes a bit of pressure on the plastic lid and coffee spills all over you. Since that course of action was not working for me I decided to take matters in my own hands and brew at home. Now, once I decided to brew at home and go the way of the Starbucks branded travel mug can you imagine my frustration when even the mug leaked and spilled coffee all over me? At this point, I know you are thinking that I am either (a) clumsy or (b) suffer from some sort of mental deficiency that causes me to spill liquids all over myself, but I assure you that neither is true. I have now been through not one, two, three or four, but six, yes six, Starbucks branded travel mugs that have leaked all over me. Just to resolve any doubt you may be having about my level of competency to function in the world please allow me: I am 29 years old, college educated, in no way do I lack common sense and I am a manager at one of the biggest media conglomerates in the country. I assure you, I am neither an idiot nor am I lacking the skills to properly close a Starbucks branded travel mug.

Simply put, it is not a coincidence that all of your Starbucks branded travel mugs that I have purchased have leaked all over me. Clearly, there is something incorrect in the design and I suggest you fix it. I would bet dollars for Dunkin Donuts that others have complained about this issue, I know I am not the only one. I threw away the first four mugs that spilled coffee all over me and I have the remaining two. Since I no longer have a use for them (except for possibly using them as tiny vases) and since they are taking up much-needed space in my cabinets I have enclosed them for you. I suggest you use them as a protype for how not-to design the next batch of Starbucks branded coffee mugs. Also enclosed please find my dry cleaning bill (for only one outfit, if I actually had the sense to include them all I would have to dig through my receipts dated back to October). Finally, I have enclosed a receipt for 1lb ground hazelnut coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I decided to go back to whence I came, if for no other reason, on principle. In a nutshell, I am sick of spilling your coffee all over myself.

I can only speak for myself, but I know there must be others out there that feel my pain –I would be grateful if you could find a way to fix this. It shouldn't be hard. Many companies have figured out a way to serve a drink without expecting their customers to wear a bib. I don't want to wear a bib on my way to work in the morning; I just want to drink a cup of coffee.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am posting this letter also to my Web Log "BLOG", and my readers and I look forward to hearing your response.

Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.

Very truly yours,

Tommie-Ann T.

Will they send me copies?

Is there any chance I can be emailed my original Bankmail emails to HSBC for the following five responses?

[response numbers omitted]

Thank you,
Christopher W.

HSBC Bulgarian ATM Fiasco Response III

Dear Mr. W.:

Thank you for contacting HSBC Bank USA, N.A., the world's local bank.

We appreciate your position regarding the information you had previously received, and apologize for both the inconvenience and confusion that this situation has caused you.

Financial institutions around the world, including HSBC, have recently experienced an increase in technologically advanced fraudulent activity. Included in this activity has been PIN based cash and non-cash transactions. This fraudulent activity, while affecting a wide range of consumers and financial institutions, has occurred in relatively narrow regions and locations around the world. As such, as a first line of defense, we have chosen to restrict PIN based transactions in the
specific cities and/or countries where the fraudulent activity has occurred.

Due to the evolving and mobile nature of this threat, the specific cities and/or countries that have been restricted may change at any time, as new locations become reported and previous locations are declared safe. This list is confidential and may not be publicly published.

At the time of your original inquiry on May 25, 2008, regarding your ability to access your account while travelling in Bulgaria, it is possible that this nation had not yet been identified as being part of this threat and subsequently restricted. On June 4, 2008, when we had
informed you that PIN based transactions were restricted for the entire country of Bulgaria, it is possible we had not yet narrowed the restriction to specific cities. As of June 18, 2008, a significant portion of Bulgaria has been identified and restricted for PIN based transactions, due to high levels of fraudulent activity.

Please note, these restrictions will not prevent you from performing 'credit' type signature based transactions anywhere that MasterCard is accepted.

Our Customer Relationship Center is always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to meet all of your banking needs. Please e-mail us by clicking 'BankMail' in the gray navigation bar on the left or call 1-800-975-HSBC (1-800-975-4722), and speak with one of our professionals. If you are outside the United States, you may call us collect at (716) 841-7212.

Sincerely,

Heather D.
Internet Banking Unit Manager

HSBC Bulgarian ATM Fiasco Response II

Ed. - Sadly, HSBC's "Bankmail" feature doesn't save my original letters, so I only have the responses.
_____

Dear Mr. W.:

Thank you for contacting HSBC Bank USA, N.A., the world's local bank.

We have forwarded your concern to the Management Team for review. We will contact you via BankMail shortly. We apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused to you.

For additional information on the products and services HSBC Bank offers, please visit us at us.hsbc.com

Our Customer Relationship Center is always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to meet all of your banking needs. Please e-mail us by clicking 'BankMail' in the gray navigation bar on the left or call 1-800-975-HSBC (1-800-975-4722), and speak with one of our professionals. If you are outside the United States, you may call us collect at (716) 841-7212.

Sincerely,

Santaraj S. S.
Internet Banking Specialist

HSBC Bulgarian ATM Fiasco Response I

Dear Mr. W.:

Thank you for contacting HSBC Bank USA, N.A., the world's local bank.

HSBC Debit MasterCards can typically be utilized internationally for purchases, as well as at any ATM which displays the MasterCard or CIRRUS logo. Due to the high instance of fraudulent PIN based transactions in Bulgaria, however, HSBC's policy is not to permit ATM withdrawals or PIN based purchases. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Please note that this restriction limits only transactions for which your PIN is utilized. You may continue to utilize your HSBC Debit MasterCard for purchase transactions processed as 'Credit', where a signature is required as opposed to the entering of your PIN.

International transfers must be performed as wire transfers. A wire transfer can be performed through our Voice Response Unit (VRU) by using your Telephone Access Code and account number. You may also schedule a wire transfer at any local HSBC Bank USA, N.A. branch.

To schedule a wire transfer by phone and fax, please contact our Funds Transfer line at (877) 472-2001. You will need to have your account number and Telephone Access Number available. Our VRU system will provide you with a request confirmation number and a fax number to which your request should be sent. Your wire transfer request should include the confirmation number provided, as well as accurate account and routing information for the sending and receiving parties to ensure proper and timely processing. Faxed requests that are received by 3
p.m. on a business day will be processed the same day. Requests received after 3 p.m. on a business day will be processed on the next business day. Please note that there may be a delay for international or foreign currency wire transfers.

For additional information on the products and services HSBC Bank offers, please visit us at us.hsbc.com

Our Customer Relationship Center is always available, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to meet all of your banking needs. Please e-mail us by clicking 'BankMail' in the gray navigation bar on the left or call 1-800-975-HSBC (1-800-975-4722), and speak with one of our professionals. If you are outside the United States, you may call us collect at (716) 841-7212.

Sincerely,

Marguerite G.
Internet Banking Specialist

I hate HSBC

Dear Mr. W.:

Thank you for contacting HSBC Bank USA, N.A., the world's local bank.

We are sorry to hear that you've received service that has been less
than satisfactory. At HSBC we are always working to ensure we meet or
exceed our customer's expectations.

The 'Personal Internet Banking Service Unavailable' message is displayed
while our Internet Banking service is being updated. The systems may
update any time between 12:00 midnight to 6:00 a.m. EST on a business
day.

If you require any assistance with your account, please contact us at
the number below or send us a secure BankMail.

For additional information on the products and services HSBC Bank
offers, please visit us at us.hsbc.com

Our Customer Relationship Center is always available, 24 hours a day, 7
days a week, to meet all of your banking needs. Just e-mail us at
globalinfo@us.hsbc.com or call 1-800-975-HSBC (1-800-975-4722). If you
are outside the United States, you may call us collect at (716)
841-7212.

Sincerely,


Sumanth A.
Internet Banking Specialist